Original post date: 7/21/13
I don’t even know where to start. I was writing about one thing, checked my email and now I’m writing about the reply I received from a Craigslist email address. Subject line: Erotic Video.
I was confused for a split second and then I remembered. Let me just preface this by saying I was heavily intoxicated. That is how this happened. No excuse, but…kind of a legit excuse.
I got drunk, came home, wanted to do some research on my project (and by research I mean, search Craigslist for shit I can do for money, which now that I think about it, sounds like a big prostitute) and may or may not have replied to this post:
…then I may or may not have had a brief conversation with the gentleman, before deciding that he seemed relatively normal—well, as normal as someone who is looking on Craigslist for a girl to be in an erotic video can be. Then again, I’m the girl who replied to the post, so how normal can I fucking be. Let’s get serious.
Anyhow, this person has offered me $300 for 90 minutes of being alone, on camera, doing erotic things (we’re all adults here, don’t make me say it.) A couple of days ago when I was hammered, I thought this was a phenomenal idea. Now and sober?……………….is it fucked up that I’m considering it? I mean I’ve done more for less so it’s not really a new low. Right?
Side note: Many of you have probably seen or heard some things in the past involving a camera and me. To set the record straight: I made some decisions when I was 19, 20, 21; things I can’t take back now. Chances are you heard I lived in a brothel (false) or that I was a “porn star” (also false), but in reality, people are just assholes who talk without actually saying anything. (So there, bitches.)
Here’s where I’m at—do it or don’t do it. Men: do not just say to do it because you like the idea; legitimately, what do I do? Part of me is like “I have tits and an acceptable physique, why the fuck not?” Then the other part is like “Bitch, you’re kind of going to get murdered. Also, you’re kind of fucked up in the head.”
I can bring someone with me for the sake of not getting murdered, which solves that problem. So there’s only one question left:
Do I really need the money that bad?
Something else to consider is that when I decided I wanted to do this project, I knew the risks. I mean, I’m publicly announcing that I’m considering taking this gig for $300, so I’m sure I’m going to be judged and criticized, but the truth is: I super don’t give a fuck. Whatever people say about me, it’s safe to assume I’ve been called worse.
Fuck it. I’m fucking doing it.
That’s what she said.