Original post date: 7/31/2013
I gotta be honest, friends; I am kind of a slut. And by kind of, I mean I am a really really big one. It might seem odd that I’m super casual about it, but I don’t even try to deny it anymore; I know who I am, I know what I like, I know I like sex, so I have sex. I am a grown ass woman and I can. As long as I don’t spread the clap around, I’m free to do whatever (or whomever) I please. I own that shit.
HOWEVER, this is not to say that the sex I have is always great. In fact, I’d say it’s oftentimes mediocre at best. Sometimes, it’s downright awful. Like, the kind when you’re 30 seconds in and you’ve already decided that it’s not you, it’s them. (In my opinion, the jackrabbit sex is least tolerable. You know when it’s like…a jackrabbit. I don’t really know how else to describe it. Usually I’m thinking something along the lines of: Bro, you are literally beating the shit out of my V and it is unacceptable. Not having a good time. Faking it now. Done? K please exit the ride.)
The bright side: Through these mediocre and awful sexcapades, I have gathered a horrifying, hilarious, fucked up library of next level weird sexual experiences. I have decided to share these, the current happenings and the past disasters. My slutty horror stories. Whore stories, if you will. So, gather ’round I guess.
Fuck it, right? If my goal is to tell my stories, I can’t be afraid to bare it all. And to be honest, I haven’t given a shit this much about anything in a really long time, so I’m going for it. If any of it offends you…well, you’re a prude and maybe you should grow up. Also, fuck off.
Fate loves the fearless. Stay tuned.